Forgiven
by silhouettepoms
Summary: A long night for John Danziger


Forgiven  
By Elizabeth Heckert  
  
How could he have let this happen?  
He knelt beside her lifeless body, not even noticing when the creature scuttled off into the underbrush. His heart nearly stopped dead and somehow a shout for Julia managed to escape his throat. Everything happened in a blur. In a moment, Julia was at his side, checking her pulse and respiration. There was none.  
"John, what happened?" she asked pleadingly, running her diaglove over True's small form.  
He couldn't answer, his voice would not obey. He could only stare at her pale face, eyes closed. By then half of camp had circled around.  
"There's toxins everywhere inside her! John, was it a koba?"  
He nodded.  
Alonzo and Yale carried her into the med tent. John followed numbly.  
"If it was a koba, she has a good chance of recovery, right?" Alonzo asked anxiously.  
Julia didn't reply as she hooked True up to monitors. Danziger watched, but did not believe what he saw with his own eyes..  
That pale form.  
His little girl.  
How could he have let this happen?  
  
Bess brought him some coffee. At least, he assumed it had been her. He hadn't noticed til now. He hadn't noticed the sun going down, nor was he aware of when Julia had left True's bedside. He was dimly aware of the fact that the others were still awake, moving about camp.  
His gaze wandered across Julia's med tent. Monitors hummed and clicked in the darkness. True lay motionless on the single cot, still ashen as death. His little girl.  
Even the rustling of the tent flap was not enough to draw his attention away from her. Had he paid it any mind at all, he would have realized it was Devon, standing a respectful distance where True lay and where Danziger sat. She paused for a few seconds--or maybe a few minutes- uncertain of what to say, and how to react.  
"John." her voice cut through the haze of his mind like a knife, making this an all too clear reality. Still, he did not react, except to incline his head slightly. "I brought you some dinner." No response.  
Devon set the dish down on one of Julia's tables, and looked at the mechanic. He looked distant, and nearly as lifeless as his fallen daughter. Devon reached out a hand, feeling the urge to comfort him somehow. But she pulled back. Having had a terminally ill child herself, she knew there was no possible comfort she could give. Instead, she turned to leave.  
He hardly noticed.  
  
At some point, he'd fallen asleep. When he awoke he was filled with hope that it was all just a dream, that True would be her exuberant self and up to her old mischief. But it wasn't so. He was greeted by her still form on the cot.  
Slowly his brain began to function. First, he noticed Julia's presence, offering him a glass of water.  
"John," she said, "Please drink, you haven't had anything for three days."  
Three days? How could three days have passed unnoticed? He accepted the drink. Before then, he hadn't realized how parched he was, or how hungry. Then he noticed the dish Devon had left on the table. His stomach growled.  
He wanted to ask Julia so badly. But what if he wouldn't like her answer? He saw the way she looked at him, apologetic, regretful, sympathetic.  
"Doc." She seemed immediately relieved that he finally spoke. His throat was still dry. "True's gonna be all right, I mean, Morgan's been hit by one of those rodents and lived to tell the tale. Right?"  
Julia sighed, kneeling beside True and studying her ghost-white face. "It's hard to say. She's much smaller than O'Neil and Morgan, it's hard to predict exactly how the toxins will affect her."  
"Be honest. what're her chances? He swallowed, resisting the urge to just scream "this isn't happening!"  
"I'm afraid she would have been awake by now."  
His heart sank.  
". but it could be it will just take longer for the toxins to leave her system. There's hope yet." She decided not to mention the fact that she had already told him that days ago. "We'll have to see how it goes." She brushed a stray lock of True's blond hair behind the little girl's ear.  
  
He wasn't sure how to react His hands started to shake. Julia rose, and turned to leave. "Doc," he said shakily, "I'm just gonna sit here, til she wakes up."  
Julia nodded, and exited the tent.  
This isn't happening, he told himself. Any second now, True would wake up with a smile on her face, surprised to find him so worried over her.  
He dragged his fingers through his mop of blond curls. All there was to do was wait. He'd played the waiting game before, with Elle. Now he seemed to be reliving that nightmare with their daughter. What seemed like mere minutes after Julia left, Devon returned. She stood by the tent flap and watched him for a moment. Carefully considering what she ought to say, she settled on, "Julia seems hopeful that she'll make a complete recovery."  
Silence.  
"I think I speak for the whole group when I say we're all here for you." He heard her well enough, but could only stare distantly at the comatose True. "It's been three days." he said dismally.  
"We didn't want to disturb you. You seemed pretty shocked."  
"I still am."  
She put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "She'll be all right, John."  
"But what if she's not?" he demanded despairingly. "It's all my fault. I was the one who yelled at her. I was the one that startled the koba. If she's dead it's ALL MY FAULT!" By then he was shouting, and the tears had started to come.  
Devon took a step back.  
"I promised Elle. I promised her I'd take care of True and now look what I've done!"  
"John!" Devon exclaimed. "This is NOT your fault. You couldn't possibly have known how the koba would react. Now stop blaming yourself. True is going to be fine," she said firmly. "You just have to believe that."  
He looked at her stonily, the tears ceased, and clenched his fists. "I lost her mother, there's no way in hell I'm gonna lose her."  
"You're not going to." She took a chance by setting her arm about his broad shoulders. "She'll be fine." He rested his head against her with only a slight hesitation. "Julia estimates she'll wake up within 48 hours. She WILL wake up."  
  
That evening the group ate around the campfire, while Danziger sat vigil by True's side. They avoided talking about True throughout the meal, mostly for Uly's sake. When at last Yale sent him to bed, the adults sat about the fire with heavy hearts.  
"What're her chances?" Magus asked of Julia.  
The doctor sighed heavily. "To be honest, I'm not sure how much hope there is. The average adult would be awake by now. But with her small frame, and the possibility that the poison was stronger than usual, it could take longer."  
"Could it have been strong enough to kill?" Magus questioned.  
Julia paused, studying her cup of coffee for a moment. "There's a chance, yes. Worst-case scenario."  
"How's Danziger taking it?" was Alonzo's question.  
"Not well," Devon answered. "I think he still blames himself."  
"Those little rats have got to go," Morgan muttered.  
"We'll give her twenty-four more hours. Then we may have to assume the worst."  
  
Uly slipped unnoticed into the med tent while the others were absorbed in conversation. He found Danziger, his hands clasped with True's, deep in thought. The small boy padded up behind him and rested his hand on his shoulder.  
There was silence for a moment, and then he spoke. All he said was:  
"She forgives you."  
  
THE END  
  
Elizabeth  
  
(aided and abetted by Ellie and Maggie (who want to make it very clear  
  
they didn't write it) =) 


End file.
